Bathing Pleasures

Bathing Pleasures

Never did I know that bathing could be so interesting a task. Heading to the shower was always a routine until I met Dinesh. A routine so trivial, something like the early morning cuppa tea or brushing one’s teeth. Never did I realize that it could become a rigorous ceremony almost like a religious ritual.

The bathing “ritual” started with the borrowing of water (in block III, room no 14 where else???) The water was heated, sorry boiled, boiled beyond boiling point until the water became “WHITE HOT” by the means of a live naked heating element.

As the water reached and crossed boiling point, the mighty Dinesh scooped out a cup of the water and joyfully proceed to the first and foremost step towards complete bathing satisfaction, called shaving!


Shaving was a grand ceremony too, as grand as the Japanese Tea ceremony. Dinesh laid all his shaving paraphernalia neatly on the table. Brought down the wall mirror and as careful as a trapeze artist carefully balanced it between the cup of water and his bookshelf. The whole act of leaning the mirror on the shelf costed Dinesh more than a whole 20 minutes, most of which was spent on admiring the (almost nonexistent) biceps and triceps, comments and remarks flew across the room as the great D admired his own body. Having got tired of flexing his muscles the shaving ceremony starts with the lathering of the 2 day old bristles on the face (Oh yeah! Not to forget the self praise comments on his smooth beard …… for he was the only one in the room who had a smooth beard) Lathering takes a full 10 minutes until we could see Dinu Dada transform into Santa Claus. The lectures on the brand of shaving cream to use and why, who models for which cream, which shaving brush is the best, etc. fills the room. Then does the shaving start. Here a nick......... there a gash.......... You suddenly realize that all the lather has gone a waste. Dinesh forever was bad at shaving but the ceremony had so much of pomp and show (exactly like the Jap tea ceremony) that you start wondering what was all the ado about?

The now bleeding Dinesh applies an After-shave (there was something that he used to say about the coolness of the Aftershave and the burning sensation of some brands …. Too bad I fail to remember them. Please enlighten me on the stuff about After shaves again)

Now its time for a break.

The break meant that Dino brutally pulls the live Coil off the socket and forgets about it. Forgets about it until the water turns from white hot to ice cold. The break was a usually a chat with us on the intricacies of life ….for example the multiple usage of condoms (that’s in another edition) or walks to Giriappa for some mirchi and watery tea or heated discussions about some long haired punk that I care a f*#&. These breaks were really interesting. Interesting because the great PPM used to bully Dinoo about the water freezing (if my hindi were as good as what it was earlier, I would have repeated these caustic comments that PPM put forth, during these breaks.)

But as all good things must come to an end, the break too comes to an end. Dinesh is threatened that the water will be used by either one of us. This calls for the re-boiling of the water. The electric coil buzzes to life and the water is taken to the path of white-hot all over again!!!!

Then comes the Dettol. (A Dettol Ad on TV triggered this edition!) Two cap-fulls are meticulously measured and added to the white hot water. There is a froth that results. Vivid images of the froth are described in detail. The Dettol froth could delay the bathing ceremony by over 15 minutes because every bathing session is accompanied by lectures of the wonders of the bubbles of Dettol flowing down on your body and cleansing it.

The water is then carried over to the bathroom.( If I were in a good mood I would ignore the water that was spilt in the process of transfer) Dinesh steps into the loo .…Ooops! he has forgotten the towel! He comes out to get it and there is another outbreak of a conversation. The water is let to cool for another 15 minutes …… We literally have had to push him in and lock the door for him to complete the bathing ritual.

Reading this edition must have been really boring. As I read it again and again and contemplate forwarding this mail to you people, I realize that such simple pleasures of life no more exist. I really wonder if any of us ever go through the bathing pleasures as taught to us by Dinesh. I wonder if even Dinesh has the time to do it. I am sure that today’s pace of life, responsibilities, work pressure, etc. have eaten into such wonderfully plain, and simple joys of life. Bathing today, I am sure has become a mundane activity for all of us. I am forever grateful that I lived life with you wonderful people, who taught me to find joy in simple things of life.

Will we ever have time to bathe? Will we ever take joy in shaving? Will we ever look at a bottle of Dettol and realize it has so much to do with our lives. Will we ever live through this again? Will it ever come back again? Any comments anybody?